


Dear Pepper

by Misscar



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: A 1796 Broadway story, Don't drink and email your ex-girlfriend, F/M, How (not) to become friends with your ex, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Oblivious Tony, Storytelling via emails, Thank God for JARVIS, Transitioning relationships.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 15:46:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misscar/pseuds/Misscar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Tony “comforts” his new sort of Boyfriend after his disastrous dinner with Pepper, Tony decides to tell her what he really thinks about everything in an email. Thankfully, JARVIS has the good sense to not actually send it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Pepper

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [1796 Broadway](https://archiveofourown.org/works/972937) by [rainproof](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainproof/pseuds/rainproof), [teaberryblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teaberryblue/pseuds/teaberryblue). 



> This is a companion piece to the story 1796 Broadway that takes place right after chapter 182 but may not be compliant for future chapters.  
> Relationships: Transitioning back from lovers to friends Tony/Pepper and we just transition from wanting to punch each other to wanting to make out with each other Tony/Steve. 
> 
> My New Year’s resolution for 2014 was to try a new fandom. I figured the best way to cut my teeth for the MCU is to write a story inspired by 1796 Broadway. I normally do a lot of Star Trek stories. 
> 
> If this works out well I may actually write that Agents of SHIELD story that’s been running around in my head since September. 
> 
> Beta by Heather, who normally does my Ugly Betty stories, but was kind enough to help out with this new project. 
> 
> Warning: story written by dyslexic person using voice recognition software. Proceed with compassion. 
> 
> However, we will just blame all the remaining strange errors on the fact that Tony is writing this letter when he is drunk on alcohol and Steve.

Dear Pepper:  
  
Fuck you!!!!!  
  
You deserve that after I had to spend the last few hours convincing my boyfriend that I’m not going to leave him just because you came back to New York. Even though on the outside he looks like the pinnacle of human perfection, he still thinks he’s that skinny kid with asthma that gets attacked by bullies twice a week. He doesn’t exactly like himself as much as he should, and your little sushi dinner has probably resulted in at least half a million dollars in additional therapy to work out his self-esteem issues, if I can ever convince him to actually see a therapist.  
  
Now that I moved on, you come here to New York for what? To get back together? To bring me back to Malibu? I’m still not leaving New York or Steve. What happened to all the good reasons why we couldn’t work as a couple? You practically had a list of the 99 reasons why we should no longer be together when you dumped me even though I offered to marry you. (By the way, that was a limited time offer that is forever off the table.)  
  
Now that it’s been two months, and I’m not stoned anymore I’m starting to realize they were good reasons (except for anything related to not showing up for board meetings because that’s what I pay you for). I love you, but I don’t want to be responsible for your death or nervous breakdown. If we stayed together, one of those things was going to happen eventually, and I’m not sure which was going to happen first. Although after today's lunch, I still think nervous breakdown has at least an 84% probability.  
  
At least with Steve I know that the super villains are going to go after him because he’s Captain America and not because he’s dating Tony fucking Stark. Also, the paparazzi will be already stocking him because he’s Captain America and not because he is dating me. Okay, not just because he’s dating me – when this goes public — if this goes public — if it lasts that long— it’s going to be worse because he’s dating me. I think Robin Roberts will be the only morning talk show host that will not eat him alive.  
  
Let’s be honest, I am a crappy boyfriend. I forget birthdays, anniversaries, and my own Social Security number. I only send gifts when I completely fuck up. Also, let’s not forget that sometimes my presence will actually kill you. I got you a case of strawberries. Good thing Steve doesn’t have any allergies, so I can’t accidentally send him into anaphylaxis with an apology gift.  
  
Actually, he doesn’t even want big gifts from me. He just likes the fact that I tried to make him breakfast from a French toast recipe that he illustrated for me back when he still believed I was a complete asshole. Keyword is “tried” because I may have activated the fire alarm. Did you know that you’re not supposed to toast the bread before dipping it into the eggs?  
  
I mean, it took me forever to get him to take a design job at SI, and he still keeps trying to back out of it. He rather hang around eating a hot dog at the zoo, then go to the best restaurant in the city. He’s even planning to buy me dinner with his first paycheck. I’ve never had a date that bought me dinner, ever.  
  
Eventually, he’s going to figure out that he is better off without me and that I’m too much work. You did.  
  
I mean, do you really want to get back together or do you miss everything else? I miss just being able to talk to you about something other than the latest StarkPad. (By the way, there’s nothing wrong with the battery. You’re probably running applications without even realizing it.) I want to be able to joke around with you like I used to and do things like movie nights, or whatever people do that are no longer sleeping together but are still friends.  
  
This afternoon, lunch was horrible and not just because you sort of guessed that I am sort of “dating” Steve. Actually, that was the most uncomfortable lunch we have ever had together, including everything right after the whole “I am Ironman” thing and me not telling you about almost dying. I don’t want us to be like that, but I don’t think we can go back to having a romantic relationship. It doesn’t work for us. What do we become now? If we end up becoming that stupid Gotye song, I’m going to shoot myself.  
  
P.S. Seriously, did you have to refer to the flowers that Steve got you as “sorry-I’m-fucking-your-ex” flowers? He was actually trying to do something nice for you, and you had to throw it in his face.  
  
For your information, we had not even had sex yet when you told him that. No, it’s not because he’s some delicate virginal flower. They had sex in the 40s, and one night stands. Let’s just say that the USO was very good to Mr. Steve Rogers. With a body like that, really who could blame those beautiful girls just doing their patriotic duty? He really does have arms like a tree.  
  
It’s just that you and I tried to go from friends to lovers, and the whole thing went to hell spectacularly. Now we can’t even have lunch together without vast quantities of alcohol and you leaving early. I didn’t want that to happen with Steve too, so we took things slower than normal. But it probably will go bad anyway, because I’m a complete fuck up. I need more alcohol or ice cream flavored Steve.  
  
P.P.S.  Okay, apparently I was too drunk last night to actually hit the send button before going back to post orgasm snuggling with Steve. I don’t even think I want you to see this letter anymore. I’m just going to save it to my private server. I really have to stop writing emails when I’m drunk. Maybe I will show this to Steve eventually.

 


End file.
